Tag: life

  • The Return of Leg Shaving

    The Return of Leg Shaving

    Today I shaved my legs for the first time since last August.

    Not because I’m lazy.

    Well.

    Not entirely because I’m lazy.


    The real reason is that chemotherapy comes with both curses and blessings.

    One of the blessings?

    No leg hair.

    For ten glorious months, I have not shaved my legs.

    Not once.

    No balancing on one foot in a slippery shower. No discovering halfway through that the razor is dull. No realizing I somehow missed an entire stripe down the back of one calf.

    Nothing.

    Just smooth legs and one less thing on my list.


    Of course, the curse is that chemotherapy doesn’t stop at your legs.

    It takes all the hair.

    And while there are certainly parts of that experience I do not recommend, there was something oddly satisfying about crossing “shave legs” off my to-do list for ten straight months.

    At some point during treatment, I stopped even thinking about it.


    Then recovery happened.

    Slowly.

    Quietly.

    The fuzz on my head started coming back.

    The eyebrows that had apparently quit without notice started showing up for work again.

    (As much as any eyebrows can after surviving the unforgivable tweeze craze of the 1970s.)

    The eyelashes decided they might stick around after all.

    Every little bit of regrowth felt like a victory.

    Proof that my body was finding its way home.

    And I was grateful for every bit of it.

    Until this morning.


    This morning I looked down in the shower and thought:

    “Well, apparently we’ve brought back the leg hair.”


    Now, to be fair, I should probably be celebrating.

    This is evidence of healing.

    Recovery.

    Progress.

    The return of normal bodily functions.


    But instead, I found myself standing there with a razor thinking:

    “Couldn’t we have left this one behind?”

    Then I dug my razor out of the back of the bathroom drawer and actually stopped and stared at it.

    The blade looked exactly the same as it had ten months ago.

    Which led to an important scientific question:

    Does a razor get dull just sitting there?

    Because if so, this one should have been worn slap out by now.


    Then I remembered.

    I had put that blade on the day my port was installed.

    Not the week before.

    Not sometime that month.

    The actual day.

    And suddenly I wasn’t looking at a razor anymore.

    I was looking at a timestamp.

    Back then, I had no idea how many doctor’s appointments, PET scans, infusions, steroids, naps, night sweats, and worried conversations stood between that shower and this one.

    If you had told me that morning that the next time I used that razor I would be cancer-free and standing in my shower complaining about leg hair, I would have taken that deal in a heartbeat.


    Then there was the shaving cream.

    The good shaving cream.

    The extra-foamy, sensitive-skin, smells-really-good shaving cream.

    The can was almost empty.

    Which raises another question.

    Does shaving cream evaporate?

    Or has someone in this house been secretly using my expensive shaving cream while I wasn’t paying attention?

    I’m not naming names.

    But there are only two people who live here, and one of them is a 6-foot-7 semi-retired male.

    The evidence seems compelling.


    Anyway.

    The shaving is done.

    The legs are smooth.

    The era of effortless maintenance appears to be over.

    And that got me wondering.

    Is this a thing for men who have gone through chemo, too?

    Because back in my day—and yes, I am officially old enough to say that—a man shaved his face and called it good.

    That was the entire grooming plan.

    Nowadays it seems like the only thing some men don’t shave is their face.

    So I’m curious.

    Men who have been through chemo, was there any hair you were perfectly happy to lose?

    Any hair you were relieved to see return?

    Or maybe more importantly…

    Was there any hair that came back and made you think:

    “Seriously? Of all the things that could have stayed gone forever, you picked THIS?”


    Because ladies, let’s not pretend we don’t have opinions here, too.

    By a certain age, some hair starts showing up in places nobody ordered it from.

    And it arrives with the confidence of a long-awaited guest.

    One day you’re minding your own business.

    The next day you’re standing in front of a magnifying mirror wondering how a single chin hair managed to grow three inches overnight without your knowledge.

    The human body is a mystery.

    Recovery is a mystery.

    And apparently hair is determined to remind us who’s really in charge.


    So today I shaved my legs for the first time in ten months.

    It wasn’t particularly exciting.

    It wasn’t especially meaningful.

    But it was one of those ordinary little moments that quietly reminded me how far I’ve come.

    Ten months ago, I was sitting in chemo.

    Today, I’m complaining about shaving my legs.

    I’ll take that trade every single time.

    Even if the leg hair is making a comeback tour that absolutely nobody requested.

    -Pattie


    P.S. This post is cross-posted here and on my new blog, Third Act With Pattie.

    Second Battle Same Me was the story of getting through cancer.

    Third Act With Pattie is the story of everything that comes after.

    These days you’ll find me, Richard, and Sassy navigating lake life, retirement, family adventures, quilting projects, and whatever chaos shows up next.

    Nature has a lot to say.

    So does Sassy.

    Come join us at Third Act With Pattie and subscribe so you don’t miss a story.

  • The Return of Leg Shaving

    The Return of Leg Shaving

    Today I shaved my legs for the first time since last August.

    Not because I’m lazy.

    Well.

    Not entirely because I’m lazy.


    The real reason is that chemotherapy comes with both curses and blessings.

    One of the blessings?

    No leg hair.

    For ten glorious months, I have not shaved my legs.

    Not once.

    No balancing on one foot in a slippery shower. No discovering halfway through that the razor is dull. No realizing I somehow missed an entire stripe down the back of one calf.

    Nothing.

    Just smooth legs and one less thing on my list.


    Of course, the curse is that chemotherapy doesn’t stop at your legs.

    It takes all the hair.

    And while there are certainly parts of that experience I do not recommend, there was something oddly satisfying about crossing “shave legs” off my to-do list for ten straight months.

    At some point during treatment, I stopped even thinking about it.


    Then recovery happened.

    Slowly.

    Quietly.

    The fuzz on my head started coming back.

    The eyebrows that had apparently quit without notice started showing up for work again.

    The eyelashes decided they might stick around after all.

    (As much as any eyelashes can after surviving the unforgivable tweeze craze of the 1970s.)

    Every little bit of regrowth felt like a victory.

    Proof that my body was finding its way home.

    And I was grateful for every bit of it.

    Until this morning.


    This morning I looked down in the shower and thought:

    “Well, apparently we’ve brought back the leg hair.”


    Now, to be fair, I should probably be celebrating.

    This is evidence of healing.

    Recovery.

    Progress.

    The return of normal bodily functions.


    But instead, I found myself standing there with a razor thinking:

    “Couldn’t we have left this one behind?”

    Then I dug my razor out of the back of the bathroom drawer and actually stopped and stared at it.

    The blade looked exactly the same as it had ten months ago.

    Which led to an important scientific question:

    Does a razor get dull just sitting there?

    Because if so, this one should have been worn slap out by now.


    Then I remembered.

    I had put that blade on the day my port was installed.

    Not the week before.

    Not sometime that month.

    The actual day.

    And suddenly I wasn’t looking at a razor anymore.

    I was looking at a timestamp.

    Back then, I had no idea how many doctor’s appointments, PET scans, infusions, steroids, naps, night sweats, and worried conversations stood between that shower and this one.

    If you had told me that morning that the next time I used that razor I would be cancer-free and standing in my shower complaining about leg hair, I would have taken that deal in a heartbeat.


    Then there was the shaving cream.

    The good shaving cream.

    The extra-foamy, sensitive-skin, smells-really-good shaving cream.

    The can was almost empty.

    Which raises another question.

    Does shaving cream evaporate?

    Or has someone in this house been secretly using my expensive shaving cream while I wasn’t paying attention?

    I’m not naming names.

    But there are only two people who live here, and one of them is a 6-foot-7 semi-retired male.

    The evidence seems compelling.


    Anyway.

    The shaving is done.

    The legs are smooth.

    The era of effortless maintenance appears to be over.

    And that got me wondering.

    Is this a thing for men who have gone through chemo, too?

    Because back in my day—and yes, I am officially old enough to say that—a man shaved his face and called it good.

    That was the entire grooming plan.

    Nowadays it seems like the only thing some men don’t shave is their face.

    So I’m curious.

    Men who have been through chemo, was there any hair you were perfectly happy to lose?

    Any hair you were relieved to see return?

    Or maybe more importantly…

    Was there any hair that came back and made you think:

    “Seriously? Of all the things that could have stayed gone forever, you picked THIS?”


    Because ladies, let’s not pretend we don’t have opinions here, too.

    By a certain age, some hair starts showing up in places nobody ordered it from.

    And it arrives with the confidence of a long-awaited guest.

    One day you’re minding your own business.

    The next day you’re standing in front of a magnifying mirror wondering how a single chin hair managed to grow three inches overnight without your knowledge.


    The human body is a mystery.

    Recovery is a mystery.

    And apparently hair is determined to remind us who’s really in charge.


    So today I shaved my legs for the first time in ten months.

    It wasn’t particularly exciting.

    It wasn’t especially meaningful.

    But it was one of those ordinary little moments that quietly reminded me how far I’ve come.

    Ten months ago, I was sitting in chemo.

    Today, I’m complaining about shaving my legs.

    I’ll take that trade every single time.

    Even if the leg hair is making a comeback tour that absolutely nobody requested.

    -Pattie

  • My Creative Brain Was Hiding… in the Fabric

    My Creative Brain Was Hiding… in the Fabric

    I call myself a quilter.

    In the interest of full disclosure…
    I haven’t touched my sewing machine in at least ten months.

    And considering the fact that I own enough fabric to insulate a small village…
    that feels a little ridiculous.


    First it was cancer,
    then it was recovery,
    then it was the Great Retirement Delusion.

    The phase where we allegedly “slowed down,” despite the fact that I now spend half my life trying to remember where I put things I packed myself.

    We have moved so many 27-gallon bins full of sewing room stuff that if they were filled with water,

    I’d have a hot tub.

    But I don’t.

    I have fabric and notions and tools and machines and enough sewing-room chaos

    that if I did have a hot tub,

    I’d probably be too exhausted to climb into it.


    And even though I’m currently buried alive under “moving a sewing room,”

    something unexpected has happened.

    Every time I open another bin,

    I stumble into an old idea,

    an old project,

    or a version of myself who used to make things just because she wanted to.

    Tiny scraps from a shooting star quilt I made during the phase where I believed sewing together 1.5 x 2-inch pieces would somehow make me a “real quilter” instead of just giving me neck pain and eye strain.

    A ruler I’ve used so much the numbers are wearing off,

    which feels judgmental at this point.

    Half a bundle of fat quarters that instantly brings back a last-minute Christmas table runner…

    and a weekend where I stayed up until 2 a.m.,

    insisting I was “almost done”

    like a woman with absolutely no prior experience being me.

    A box full of blocks for a quilt I adored while cutting…

    and completely hated by block five of assembly.


    And somewhere between hauling bins, untangling extension cords, and wondering why all seventeen pairs of my fabric scissors disappear simultaneously like they’re part of an organized crime ring…

    my brain skipped right past “you should really get organized” and went straight to:

    What can I make now?

    Not what should I donate.
    Not what should I finish.
    Not what responsible adults would do in this situation.

    What can I make now!


    And then it hit me…

    my sewing room wasn’t just fabric storage

    it was where my creativity had quietly been waiting for me.


    Honestly, I didn’t realize how much I missed that feeling until it came back.

    Not the pressure to make something impressive.
    Not the giant complicated projects that require seventeen fabrics and a level of math I refuse to acknowledge publicly.

    Just the spark.

    That little twitch in your brain that looks at fabric and immediately starts making terribly wonderful decisions.

    The sudden belief that this might be the project where I lose myself in the creating for a while… and somehow find pieces of myself again in the process.

    And after ten months of surviving, recovering, relocating, downsizing, upsizing, and wandering around looking for things I packed myself…

    that tiny creative spark feels a lot less like “coming home” and a lot more like trouble.

    The good kind.

    The kind that ends with fabric all over the table, thread stuck to your shirt, twenty-seven browser tabs open for “inspiration,” and a completely irrational conviction that your entire happiness depends on finding one more shade of teal.


    And honestly?
    I think I’m finally ready for that again.

    So come sit by me.

    We’ll dig through fabric, make wildly questionable project decisions, and lie to ourselves about only starting one new quilt.

    Some traditions are worth preserving.

    – Pattie

  • Sassy Goes to the Cell Phone Store…Almost

    Sassy Goes to the Cell Phone Store…Almost

    Y’all, I do not understand humans.

    The cell phone store convinces them they needed newer phones…

    and then convinces them I wasn’t allowed inside.

    What the wagging tail is that about?


    So here’s what happened.

    A few days ago, we went to the cell phone store. Me, Mama, and my great niece.

    Well.
    They went.

    I was informed — very rudely, I might add — that I was “not allowed inside this location.”

    Interesting.

    Because last time I went to the cell phone store, everyone acted like I was a celebrity.

    There were pets and scratches and at least three people telling me I was “a Very Good Girl,” which, frankly, should have earned me store membership privileges for life.

    But suddenly:
    “No dogs allowed.”


    Excuse me?

    I have been to Home Depot.
    Lowe’s.
    TJ Max – oh I love TJ Max.
    Wally World.
    The bank.
    And once, against my better judgment, Hobby Lobby.

    But apparently the cell phone people have other standards now.

    So I waited in the car.


    Now before anyone gets dramatic:

    Mama leaves the air running.

    Sometimes the windows are cracked too so I can supervise the parking lot and monitor important neighborhood smells.


    And let me tell you something.

    Humans are WEIRD around dogs in cars.

    Every single person walking by looked at me like I was either:

    1. deeply oppressed,
    2. preparing a jailbreak,
      or
    3. about to give an interview about unsafe working conditions.

    Ma’am.

    I am lying on a cooled leather seat covered in soft cozy blankets

     Grooving to smooth jazz

    with climate control and

    unrestricted access to french fry smells,

    Honey, I am fine.


    Meanwhile, inside the store, the Younger Humans were apparently looking at phones.

    Again.

    Apparently the one they already had — the glowing rectangle they’ve been emotionally attached to for eleven straight months — is suddenly unacceptable because this rectangle has “better cameras” and “more storage.”

    Every year humans convince themselves the newest phone will somehow change their lives.

    And every year they still walk into poles while texting.


    I simply do not understand this generation’s emotional attachment to rectangles.

    They stare at them constantly.
    They carry them everywhere.
    They panic if they lose one for eleven seconds.
    And according to Mama, they use them to “leave messages for friends.”

    Which seems unnecessarily complicated.

    Why type paragraphs into glowing rectangles when you could just eave pee mail like civilized creatures?


    And do not even get me started on talking into the thing.

    Every time Daddy calls Mama, he says:
    “Put Sassy on the phone.”

    Dude.

    I do not understand the expectations here.

    I hear him doing the sweet talk:
    “Hiiiiii Sassy girl…”
    “Whatcha doin’?”
    “Are you being good?”

    Meanwhile I am sitting there staring at the phone like:
    …what exactly is my role in this conversation?

    Am I supposed to discuss neighborhood squirrels?
    Give updates on my snack schedule?
    Review the quality of the blankets in the back seat?

    Honestly, the entire system feels very disorganized.


    Finally,  

    and this is the last thing I’m going to say about these phones,

    why is everyone always looking down now?

    Nobody is paying attention anymore.

    A squirrel could launch an entire criminal enterprise in the parking lot, and these people would miss it because they’re busy poking glowing rectangles with their thumbs.

    Meanwhile, from my perfectly climate-controlled observation post, I noticed:
    three spilled drinks,
    a suspicious pigeon,
    a toddler covered in cracker residue,
    two unattended shopping carts,
    and a lady carrying Chick-fil-A.


    I am not saying I was the only responsible adult in that parking lot.

    But honestly, at this point, I feel like I carried the entire surveillance operation by myself.

    🐾 Sassy

    P.S. Today we went to TJ Maxx and Hobby Lobby. They had no concerns about my presence whatsoever.

    Funny how that works. 🐾

  • The Back Rows

    The Back Rows

    There are certain moments in loving a child that sit quietly in your chest for a long time afterward.

    Watching Liddle S’kiddle graduate high school was one of them.

    We are unbelievably proud of her.
    Proud of the hard work.
    Proud of the discipline.
    Proud of the long nights and early mornings and all the ordinary days that somehow added up to this extraordinary milestone.

    She graduated with honors, and she earned every bit of it.

    As the ceremony began, the honor graduates and graduates with distinction were seated in the front rows, decorated in stoles and regalia that reflected years of academic achievement. They were recognized and applauded, rightly so, for what they had accomplished.

    And their families cheered with the kind of joy that only comes from watching someone you love achieve something they worked hard for.

    We clapped proudly right along with them.

    But somewhere in the middle of the ceremony, my eyes kept drifting to the back rows.

    The students whose victories were less decorated, but no less hard-won.
    The ones the ceremony said less about…
    but whose stories may have required just as much strength.

    And I found myself wondering about them.

    How many had worked late shifts after school?
    How many had gone home carrying burdens nobody else could see?
    How many had walked through heartbreak, anxiety, loss, instability, exhaustion, or responsibilities far beyond their years?
    How many had simply fought like hell just to cross that stage?

    Several had earned scholarships.
    Many are headed to college.
    Others are entering trades, jobs, military service, or lives that will require just as much courage and determination as any university classroom.

    And when their names were called, I noticed something else.

    Their families often cheered the loudest.

    Not because they loved their children more.
    But maybe because they understood, in a deeply personal way,

    just how hard-won that diploma really was.

    Because sometimes graduating with honors is the miracle.

    And sometimes graduating at all is.

    Both deserve applause.

    And so, we celebrate all of them.
    The scholars.
    The overcomers.
    The exhausted kids who kept going anyway.
    The students who succeeded publicly and the ones who succeeded quietly.

    The ones in the front rows.
    The ones in the back.

    The graduates whose accomplishments were announced to the room…
    and the graduates whose strength may have only been fully understood by the people cheering hardest for them.

    Because every student who crossed that stage carried a story.
    And every single one deserved their moment when their name was called.

    Maybe that is what I will remember most about graduation night.

    Not just the honors and distinctions.
    But the reminder that perseverance does not always wear decorative cords.

    Sometimes it simply wears a cap and gown
    and keeps going anyway.

    -Pattie