Tag: writing

  • The View From Here

    The View From Here

    I recently spent a few days relaxing at the beach.

    And somewhere between the dunes and the ocean…

    I realized something.

    The beach isn’t what changed.

    I did.


    When I picture the perfect beach,

    I think of peaceful joy.

    The beautiful view.

    The sound of the waves.

    Sea birds gliding overhead.

    Cool water on my feet.


    Then reality showed up.

    If getting to the beach requires hiking through the dunes…

    it’s too far.

    If the walk back to the restroom requires prior planning…

    we’ve crossed the line from vacation to endurance event.

    If cars are driving up and down the beach…

    it’s too trafficky.

    If I have to carry my own refreshments…

    I will not be refreshed.

    If it’s raining…

    it’s too wet.

    If it’s sunny…

    it’s too hot.

    If everyone around me is laughing, splashing, and having the best day ever…

    it’s too loud.

    And if all of those things happen on the same beach…

    I’m going back to the hotel.


    And somewhere between the ocean…

    and the hotel…

    I realized something.

    I just love the version of the beach that comes with

    a big beach umbrella,

    comfortable lounge chairs,

    someone wandering by every so often asking,

    “Would you like another drink?”

    “Can I bring you lunch?”

    and absolutely no requirement that I earn the view.


    Apparently…

    my idea of the perfect beach changed

    right along with me.

    These days,

    ‘m less “beach person”…

    and more “beach resort person.”


    And honestly…

    I’m okay with that.


    After surviving cancer twice,

    I’m learning that choosing the comfrotable chair

    isn’t giving up.

    Sometimes…

    it’s simply self-care.

    And I have a feeling

    we could all use

    a little more of that.

    -Pattie

    P.S. Tell me about your perfect beach day. What does it absolutely have to include?

  • The Wisdom of Shade

    The Wisdom of Shade

    I used to be a hunter.

    And now I am a gatherer.

    At least as it applies to amusement parks.


    I think it’s because I’m getting older.

    I’d like to blame something else.

    But aging has no alibi.


    Plan a trip to X 

    to see Y

    and flawlessly execute the plan.

    I found the game,

    and then I took it down.

    Hunt complete.


    The young people amusementing themselves with us

    are still hunters.

    Each day they planned the big game of the day,

    And set out to capture the death-defying roller coaster of choice.

    The ROC. 


    Their logic was not to hunt in the picked-over concrete forest

    but to seek out the untouched land. 

    Getting to the game before the other hunters was urgent.

    And of course it was always the furthest away.


    Being reasonably responsible people,

    Hubby and I did not buy fast passes for six.

    And for the same reason,

    we stayed at a three bedroom four-and-a-half bath VRBO

    instead of one of the park hotels offering early entry.

    We learned a long time ago:

    no matter how many people you pack into a hotel room,

    there is only one bathroom per room.

    And one bathroom divided by six people

    equals misery for five at any given moment.


    So: no early entry, no fast pass.

    The hunters still wanted to beat the crowd.


    The death march began the very instant

    our feet hit the parking lot pavement.

    The mission was to walk as fast as we could

    on the pre-determined straightest path to the ROC.


    No sightseeing.

    No people watching.

    No dilly-dallying.

    Not even a bathroom stop,

    if the hunters had their way.

    But mine is a 69-year-old post-chemo bladder.

    It always gets its way. 


    None of them are under 5’8″.

    They are young and fit,

    with powerful slender legs

     and long, easy strides.

    They were hunting with passion.


    I was none of those things.


    So I raced along,

    double-stepping as fast as my little feet –

    including the injured big toe –

    would carry me.


    That first death march

    my watch clocked a mile and a half

    before we reached the hunting ground.

    And that was in the smaller park.


    I arrived exhausted,

    sweating profusely,

    and to be honest – pretty put off.

    (Southern for: not at all pleased.)


    The rest of the day was a remake of that first death march,

    ride after ride after ride.

    Hunters hunt.

    That’s what they do.


    Their hunting went on.

    My thrill did not.


    Without  their big game to direct my focus,

    I started looking around for what would entertain me.

    I realized what I wanted was to

    enjoy a cool breeze,

    watch the little kids’ shining faces

    getting their pictures made with in-character characters,

    sit and have a drink in the shade,

    admire the beautiful scenery, and

    smell the metaphorical roses.

    I had become a gatherer.


    I was torn, to be sure.

    I wanted the S’kiddles to have a great time.

    And while I knew a great time,

    in the hunter’s sense,

    wasn’t going to happen for me,

    I didn’t want the death marches to become the death of me.


    So instead of chasing their ROC,

    I let the pack go on ahead of me.

    With two men over 6’5″,

    they were pretty easy to use as landmarks.


    And I looked around as I walked.

    I saw things I’d had no idea were there.

    A bathroom, up the hill to the right.

    A water bottle refill station, just to the left.

    A Starbucks, tucked into a cute little alcove up ahead.

    None of it was their ROC.

    All of it was exactly what I needed.


    I used to search for the ROC

    looking neither left nor right,

    and hunt it down.

    Now I was noticing shade.


    Hunters hunt.

    Gatherers gather.

    And it turns out,

    somewhere around mile two of a death march,

    gathering looks a lot more like wisdom than giving up.

    -Pattie

  • What I’m Celebrating Today

    Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

    I’ll be honest.

    This Fourth of July has been harder for me than most.

    It’s difficult for me to celebrate

    when so much about our country

    feels angry, divided, and fragile.


    But maybe Independence Day isn’t

    a celebration that we’ve arrived.

    Maybe it’s a celebration that 250 years ago,

    a group of imperfect people

    dared to imagine something

    the world had rarely seen before:

    a nation where the government’s authority

    would come from its people

    instead of a king,

    inherited privilege,

    or any single religious authority.


    They didn’t get everything right.

    Some of the freedoms they declared were not for everyone.

    Some injustices were left untouched.

    Others they simply failed to see.


    But generation after generation,

    Americans have kept pushing this country a little closer

    to the promises made in 1776.

    Not perfectly.

    Not all at once.

    Sometimes loudly.

    Sometimes painfully.

    But forward.


    Our country still has flaws.

    It always will,

    because it is made up of human beings.


    Yet when we choose kindness over contempt,

    listening over shouting,

    and the common good over personal victory,

    we honor the very spirit of this American experiment.


    We remind ourselves that a more perfect union

    was never meant to be a destination.

    It was always meant to be the work.


    I still believe this country is at its best

    when we remember that freedom – real freedom –

    isn’t just about protecting our own rights.

    It’s about protecting everyone’s rights.


    So today, that’s what I’m celebrating.

    I hope your day is filled with family, friends,

    and a few quiet minutes to reflect on the country

    we’re still trying to become.

    -Pattie

  • MAY FLIES IN JUNE — THAT IS A HARD NO

    MAY FLIES IN JUNE — THAT IS A HARD NO

    OH MY BONE at the flies.

    Is the lake broken?


    The black flying flies.

    They are everywhere.

    They do not stop.

    I am convinced they exist for one purpose and one purpose only:

    To torment me personally.


    Let me tell you about May flies.

    They are very special flies that live in the lake as regular bugs for two whole years.

    Then one day they explode out of the water and become flying bugs.


    I know these are facts because Mama told me.

    Do I fully trust Mama’s explanation?

    Not entirely.

    She also says I don’t need to bark at suspect squirrels.

    So her judgment is questionable.


    There are hundreds of them.

    Thousands of them.

    Possibly millions.

    Maybe even billions.

    I have not counted them all because I am only one dog.

    But I have counted enough

    to know I am right.


    They hide in the grass.

    They hide in the trees.

    They hide on the boathouse.

    They hide on the windows.

    Basically, if a thing exists,

    there is probably a fly sitting on it.


    Then the moment you find the perfect place to squat…

    HERE THEY COME.

    Like somebody blew a whistle.


    Suddenly they are flying around your head.

    Flying in your ears.

    Landing on your legs.

    Making you question all your life choices.


    And let me tell you something else.

    They smell bottoms.

    I have seen it.


    Now, a good bottom sniff is important.

    To dogs.

    That is a professional courtesy.

    A respectful exchange of information.

    Flies have no business participating.

    They have not earned that privilege.


    The worst part is the windows.

    They stick to the glass.

    I go over to investigate.

    They jump off.

    Then they fly directly at my face.

    Which feels aggressive.

    And possibly personal.


    Mama explained that after spending two years in the lake,

    they only live for a day or two.

    A DAY OR TWO.

    Imagine waiting two years for anything.

    Then spending your entire adult life being annoying.

    That is a terrible life plan.


    I reported this situation to Management.

    Management said,

    “They’re just mayflies, Sassy.”

    Which is exactly the sort of thing Management says

    when they have no intention of fixing the problem.


    Also, I have one very important question.

    If these are MAY flies…

    Why are they still here in JUNE?

    I am beginning to think nobody is enforcing the rules.


    The only good thing about mayflies is that eventually they die.

    Which leads me to believe that even the all-powerful one—

    you know, D-O-G spelled backwards—

    has reached the end of His patience with them too.


    Until then,

    I will continue my patrols,

    file my complaints,

    and conduct all outdoor business under protest.

    Sincerely,

    Sassy 🐾

    A Very Good Girl Under Attack

  • I Miss That Woman

    I Miss That Woman

    One of the great lies of modern technology is that we can no longer get lost.

    We have GPS.

    We have smartphones.

    We have interactive maps.

    We have little blue dots that tell us exactly where we are.

    And yet, over the course of five days at Universal Studios, I was lost so often that I began to suspect my little blue dot was just making things up.

    The problem, as it turns out, is that theme parks apparently believe maps should be viewed on screens approximately the size of a saltine cracker.


    I used to be the person who got us where we needed to go.

    Although directionally challenged, I could read maps. Paper maps. Solid maps where the top was the top and the bottom was the bottom. Maps that did not suddenly rotate because I shifted my weight or turned my body fifteen degrees to the left.

    Maps where you could look at the route and say, “I need to turn right here.”

    Or, “I better turn left there.”

    Not arrows that changed direction on the whim of the gods.

    As a single mom, I took my two children on adventures all over the place.

    I studied maps before we left home.

    I highlighted routes.

    I planned for confusing intersections.

    I took them to amusement parks, water parks, state parks, and places we had never seen before.

    We didn’t get lost.

    And perhaps more importantly, we didn’t ask for directions.


    I miss that woman.

    The woman with the highlighted map.

    The woman who trusted herself.

    The woman who could look at a route and know where she was going.

    Now?

    Now I am standing in a theme park holding a saltine cracker with a battery.

    Trying to determine whether the tiny arrow is pointing where I need to go or whether it has once again decided that True North is the most important information in my life.

    As if I routinely navigate by the stars.

    As if Lewis and Clark are waiting on me.

    As if anybody other than Eagle Scouts knows where True North is at any given moment.

    And because life enjoys piling on, I can’t see worth a damn out of the eye that needs cataract surgery.

    A weakness for another day.

    If I enlarge the map, I lose where I’m going.

    If I shrink the map, I lose where I am.

    And somewhere between those two settings lies the exact point where I begin questioning all my life choices.


    One afternoon of our Universal adventure, I was happily settled in Celestial Park.

    Soft music.

    Shade.

    Air conditioning.

    Comfortable seating with actual backs.

    Civilized beverages served in actual glass glasses.

    In other words, paradise.

    Then came the text.

    “Come meet us at Mead Hall.”

    Simple enough.

    Except Mead Hall was in the Isle of Berk.

    But I was not.

    And the app, despite being connected to celestial satellites orbiting the earth, seemed unwilling to share that information in a useful manner.

    I zoomed.

    I swiped.

    I rotated.

    I squinted.

    I tried again.

    At one point I was no longer certain whether the map was lost or I was.


    Finally, I found an information booth.

    And there, like a gift from heaven itself, was a paper map.

    A solid map.

    A trustworthy map.

    A map that stayed still.

    Within seconds, I had figured out exactly where I needed to go.

    But then something happened that bothered me more than being lost.

    I asked anyway.


    Not because I didn’t know.

    Because I wasn’t sure I trusted myself.

    When did that happen? 

    The employee confirmed what I already thought.

    I was right.

    Confirmation that I had become the unconfident woman.


    Eventually I found the portal to Berk.

    I could see the giant tower thing ahead of me.

    The roads split left and right.

    The app was no help.

    The signs were questionable.

    My confidence was fading.

    I chose a direction.

    Then another.

    Then another.


    At one point I found myself sitting on a rock trying very hard not to cry over a theme park map.

    Which is not a sentence I ever expected to write.

    About then, Hubby texted.

    “Where are you?”

    Well, if I knew that, I wouldn’t be sitting on a rock, would I?

    I didn’t send that response.

    I told him I was sitting under a sign that said:

    LOST ELDER. HAVE PITY.

    A few minutes later I finally asked another stranger for help.

    Again.

    And eventually I made it.

    Exhausted.

    Frustrated.

    Relieved.

    And more emotional than the situation probably warranted.

    Because the truth is, this wasn’t really about finding Mead Hall.

    It wasn’t even about the map.

    It was about confidence.


    I used to be the person who found the way.

    The map reader.

    The route planner.

    The woman with the highlighted atlas riding shotgun.

    Now I’m the person who asks strangers for directions.

    And I hate that.

    Or maybe I hate what I think it says about me.

    Because the truth is, I did find my way.

    I found the information booth.

    I found the paper map.

    I found the right bridge eventually.

    I even found Hubby.


    Maybe the problem isn’t that I can no longer find my way.

    Maybe the problem is that I’ve spent so much of my life believing strength meant never needing help that every request for directions feels like failure.

    And maybe, four months shy of seventy, after a year that included cancer, chemo, cataracts, and a Universal Studios app apparently designed by squirrels, that’s a lesson worth learning.

    Even if I’d still rather have a paper map.

    One story down. Several margaritas to go.

    -Pattie


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